I would like to gratefully acknowledge the support of Duke University, the Army Research Office, Intel Corporation, who variously funded the author and/or one of his beowulfs. I am very grateful to this paper's ``shepherd'', Walter B. Ligon III, for reading the various drafts and making useful suggestions, and to both Larry McVoy and Carl Staelin for at least listening to my passionate plea for an unrestricted GPL for the lmbench suite and for adding a number of beowulf friendly measures. Finally, I would also especially like to thank the members and regular participants on the beowulf list.